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Sep 20, 2013

What the Hell?

What the hell am I doing with my life?

I ask myself this question often. Usually every Saturday morning, over my throbbing headache, eating something smothered in cheese and bacon grease.
But recently, I've been asking this question in the more existential sense. On the superficial level, I just started my first year of law school. I'm keeping up with my classes, meeting my professors, blah blah be proud of me Dad please blah blah but really, beyond that. What the hell am I doing here? I love law school, honestly. My vocabulary has quadrupled. I read new stories every day about ridiculous accidents and insane rednecks. But what the hell am I looking for out of all of this?

Whenever I imagine myself 20 years from now, I picture a writer. A hot, extremely attractive writer who expresses herself on paper because copious amounts of Botox restrains her face from doing so. Maybe I will be an attorney. Maybe I'll practice law in a more alternative way. Maybe I'll drop all of that and become a professional cheeseburger critic. All I know for sure is that throughout all of it, I'm writing.

So now we're here. Welcome to my new practice studio. It seems that every hour of every day, crazy ideas bubble up in my brain for funny, weird, random essays, but I never actually write them. Not once. Okay maybe once, but it was merely a documentation of the craziest weekend of my life, which I may or may not post here eventually. But for now, I'm here to practice what I preach. How can I be a writer if I don't write? Yes, I tweet. A lot. And I put a shit-ton of effort into my Facebook statuses. But isn't that like saying you're a model and you've never truly modeled, other than for Instagram? Am I on that level?! Dear Jesus, please no.

So finally, I got off my ass and made this. ("Got off my ass" in the figurative, spirited sense- because okay fine, I'm technically sitting on my ass right now.) The name is Kali sucks, because any other title sounded like I was trying too hard to sound witty, and my deepest, darkest fear would have to be people thinking I'm trying too hard. Actually... cockroaches. Okay no both. Alright how about this- people watching me try to kill a roach. Now that, that right there is my deepest, darkest fear.

Hopefully, the crunchy, squirming, godless roach crawling around my first blog entry means that it can only go up from here.

So, welcome--to my brainchild, my soul, my creative vision.

LOL JK this is gonna suck. Let's do this.